self-esteem

“Do you see it now?”

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Many of you will have seen the Netflix mini-series The Queen’s Gambit. It’s the fictional story of an orphaned chess prodigy named Beth Harmon who battles personal demons to claw herself to the top of her sport. In one scene, she challenges her opponent, a friend, with a question about the end game: “Do you see it now?” she asks. He admits he doesn’t. She does.

The same question can be posed to parents looking to give their children the best possible chance to succeed in school and life: Do you see the things that can really make a difference? Of course, no two children are exactly alike. A child who is, say, musically or athletically gifted will (understandably) be brought up differently than a child who is not. But for most teens, a great adventure can be a life changer—because impressive accomplishment brings self-esteem, and self-esteem is transformative, in our personal lives AND in the classroom (see the post on St. Benedict’s school in Newark, NJ.) Moreover, a great adventure can help teens see a more imaginative end game for themselves. Suddenly, new possibilities present themselves, possibilities that may not on the radar screens of most of their friends.

Good classroom instruction should never be discounted. But sometimes it’s what kids learn—or don’t learn—outside of the classroom that makes the teachers look good. Or not. Leading Swiss boarding schools are now charging over USD100,000 per year in tuition. What on earth is that paying for? No doubt different parents will give different answers. But surely one of the most common answers would be “experiences.” Switzerland sits a short train or coach ride away from several European cultural capitals. And opportunities for outdoor adventure are everywhere. It’s an “experience bonanza.” We, too, offer an exceptional European adventure and cultural-exposure opportunity—at a much more reasonable price. You have our coordinates.

When it comes to building self-confidence, we would seem to come in no better than second. We'll take it.

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In his acclaimed book An Intimate History of Humanity, Oxford historian Theodore Zeldin asserts that the most effective way to boost self confidence is to see somebody you’re in love with reciprocate your feelings. But if you do an internet search, you’ll find the following advice:

1. Stop criticizing yourself. 2. Devote your life towards looking for the best in yourself and in others. 3. Look good so you can feel good. 4. Get out of your comfort zone and succeed.

The first two tips are “voluntary mortifications”—part of a discipline one practices every day. Now let’s consider the second two items. 1) Looking good. This is one of the reasons we sail fabulous out-of-the-ordinary gaff-rig boats. Apart from being the perfect size for QBE teaching methods, being extremely safe, and being challenging enough to require teamwork to sail, they are eye-poppingly handsome yachts. When we come sailing into port, heads turn. You can’t help but feel cool when you show up someplace special standing on the deck of an iconic pilot cutter. And 2) Comfort zone and success. The whole point of adventure is getting out of your comfort zone. Sailing, for beginners, is a new zone altogether. Our crewmates are quickly given complete responsibility for our expeditions. They take turns tugging at ropes, skippering, and navigating (among other things). By the end of the course, they will have crossed the English Channel and repeatedly brought their boats alongside quays in postcard ports. They successfully will have done what few of their friends will ever have the chance to do, and they’ll have the pictures to prove it. Talk about a boost in self-esteem!